I've never expected the day my exams finish is actually so so so boring.
The moment I stepped back into my house's door from exam , I intuitively felt , Bored. Empty.
What's my point of coming home ?
What's ahead waiting for me to do ?
What CAN I do ?
After bath chatted on msn with Troy , just found out his msn not a few days ago. His reaction wasn't as excited as I was, made me feel a bit ... Blogged. ( had another post earlier today , check out below ) & when Troy left all on the msn online list were ppl I don't really care if they're online. All ppl I expected , thought , hoped they were online , all weren't .
Stoned for some time in an environment of pure emo songs. No street noises as windows were closed , no naggings as mom slept , nothing else but emo songs & the emo me.
Went to play warcraft , practised Dota as shan quan demanded long ago . Was desperately in search of something called the 'Point Booster' . Whatever. Later went msn list again , yet , all ppl I wanted to be online are either STILL offline or afk. Dinner.
Came back & stoned quite a long while. & now , came back to blog AGAIN , just to take up some time . Now my mind is empty , I can't even remember what I've done after dinner ...
Now I suddenly have a sort of 'crazy' thought , one that I've never have before. In fact if that thought came out from any other guys' mouth 10 hours ago , I would have punched him in the face. But now , perhaps I've gone mad , I am hoping that the exams go on forever ... and ever ... so that I don't need to be so bored . so empty . so hollow . so sad .
When I was younger ,
I heard people say someone killed himself due to pressure.
I knew what was death,
But didn't know what was pressure.
Now I understand what's pressure,
And wonder why there're still so many people alive.
What's the point of waiting if you're trying to hide from me.
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